It's Time

So I've totally avoided my homework timeline thing. I love how I followed through with the procrastinate to the max method my whole university career. Let's just hope it works so I can graduate. Since I didn't follow my schedule, I'm pretty screwed on those 3 papers due next week. Which is why it's the perfect time to start quitting, oh who am I kidding, cutting down on weed. Yes, I'm doing it again! And this time, it's going to work because I am going to replace this vice (totally maladaptive behaviour and not a real way to quit something cos I'll just start something else) with shopping.

It's been so many years since I've been excited about shopping, mainly because I had no money. All my flow would just go to booze, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes. Sure, I had many memorable times with these substances. Well, I've also had no recollection of many times as well. But, the shopping thing is different. First, I rationalized it with 'well, at least I'll have something to show for my money, instead of just blowing it on getting drunk and high'. I don't agree with that now.

So that's why I came home after buying a pair of those ballerina-style shoes. They're silver and they look like shiny disco balls. Now, every time I get I'm going to buy a book or one article of clothing, accessory, etc. instead of loads and loads of booze and weed. It'll be like my reward every two weeks. Of course, most of the paycheque goes to the maxed out credit card.

Why do I feel like I'm regressing? What I don't like about shopping/window shopping is that I always end up thinking that there's so many things that I 'need' or want. It messes me up.